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Thinking of a move
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Author:  Sparksmauro [ April 27th, 2014, 8:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Thinking of a move

Hello
Wondering if my husband and I would fit in to Charlottetown We have vacationed many many times
But thinking of retiring downtown next year.
No family
No friends
Just us and a love of the Maritimes.
Has this been done before?
Happily?

Author:  craiger [ April 27th, 2014, 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

That's not a lot of info to go on to determine if you'll fit in or not. Where are you coming from? What do you like to do? I'm sure it's been done plenty of times and that you'd be very happy, assuming you already like Charlottetown.

Author:  Gardiner [ April 28th, 2014, 8:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

Sparksmauro wrote:
Hello
Wondering if my husband and I would fit in to Charlottetown We have vacationed many many times
But thinking of retiring downtown next year.
No family
No friends
Just us and a love of the Maritimes.
Has this been done before?
Happily?

Do you guys golf?

Author:  Sparksmauro [ April 28th, 2014, 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

True
Hard to predict fitting in when I give out no info!
I will be newly retired, and want to walk my dogs; do yoga and some volunteer work. My husband wants to ride his bike and golf.
We wonder how hard is it to meet people? Most friendships here near Montreal were formed at work, and when in PEI, NO MORE WORK!

Author:  craiger [ April 28th, 2014, 6:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

Victoria Park is a great place to take a dog for a walk. It seems like there are a few yoga places in Charlottetown as well. Certainly lots of volunteer opportunities. I can't imagine you'd have difficulties making friends as you're sure to meet people with the activities you listed.

Author:  s9o3 [ May 3rd, 2014, 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

As a mid-20's "CFA" (Come from away) who's been here for two years, here's my two cents:

Since you seem to be interested in how well you'll fit in and how easily you'll meet people I'll address the social dynamics of PEI. Which from my point of view, are unique of the four different places I've lived in the Maritimes.

At least at my age demographic, it's very hard to meet new people. Everyone from here hangs out with the same old people that they've known for years and years, and aren't exactly open to much change. Those are the (heavily generalized, sorry) kind of people that are born and raised in PEI and have never lived anywhere else. The odd time you get invited out with some of these people, they all go on about Betty whoever and Gordie whoever, which makes it hard to participate in any conversation when you don't go back 10 years with these people like the rest of them do. You often feel like the odd one out. Of the people that I've met and quickly befriended, it always turns out that they're also a CFA. And it's not like I'm socially awkward, horrifically disfigured, or not involved with anything. I lived in Wolfville, NS, and managed to make more friends there in three months then I have here in two years. And larger cities I've been in have much more social fluidity to it than here does. If you love the Maritimes, I'd suggest Halifax over Charlottetown any day. There's far more to do, especially in the winter. The winters here are unbearable if you don't have many friends and aren't a recluse.

People here are friendly, but they don't want to be your friend. That phrase resonates heavily with any CFA I mention it to.

I plan to leave PEI within the next six months. Visiting PEI and living in PEI are two very different things. Take my advice with a grain of salt: your age demographic might be very different than mine.

Author:  craiger [ May 3rd, 2014, 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

s9o3 wrote:
As a mid-20's "CFA" (Come from away) who's been here for two years, here's my two cents:

Since you seem to be interested in how well you'll fit in and how easily you'll meet people I'll address the social dynamics of PEI. Which from my point of view, are unique of the four different places I've lived in the Maritimes.

At least at my age demographic, it's very hard to meet new people. Everyone from here hangs out with the same old people that they've known for years and years, and aren't exactly open to much change. Those are the (heavily generalized, sorry) kind of people that are born and raised in PEI and have never lived anywhere else. The odd time you get invited out with some of these people, they all go on about Betty whoever and Gordie whoever, which makes it hard to participate in any conversation when you don't go back 10 years with these people like the rest of them do. You often feel like the odd one out. Of the people that I've met and quickly befriended, it always turns out that they're also a CFA. And it's not like I'm socially awkward, horrifically disfigured, or not involved with anything. I lived in Wolfville, NS, and managed to make more friends there in three months then I have here in two years. And larger cities I've been in have much more social fluidity to it than here does. If you love the Maritimes, I'd suggest Halifax over Charlottetown any day. There's far more to do, especially in the winter. The winters here are unbearable if you don't have many friends and aren't a recluse.

People here are friendly, but they don't want to be your friend. That phrase resonates heavily with any CFA I mention it to.

I plan to leave PEI within the next six months. Visiting PEI and living in PEI are two very different things. Take my advice with a grain of salt: your age demographic might be very different than mine.

Where do you live?

I've lived on PEI all my life but when I moved to Summerside (from Charlottetown) in my mid twenties it took quite a while to meet people. I first moved to Summerside in 2004 and it wasn't until my wife and I had our first child (in 2009) that we started actually developing friendships. I don't think this was unique to Summerside though. I think it would have been similar regardless of where we moved.

Author:  Gardiner [ May 4th, 2014, 8:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

s9o3 wrote:
As a mid-20's "CFA" (Come from away) who's been here for two years, here's my two cents:

Since you seem to be interested in how well you'll fit in and how easily you'll meet people I'll address the social dynamics of PEI. Which from my point of view, are unique of the four different places I've lived in the Maritimes.

At least at my age demographic, it's very hard to meet new people. Everyone from here hangs out with the same old people that they've known for years and years, and aren't exactly open to much change. Those are the (heavily generalized, sorry) kind of people that are born and raised in PEI and have never lived anywhere else. The odd time you get invited out with some of these people, they all go on about Betty whoever and Gordie whoever, which makes it hard to participate in any conversation when you don't go back 10 years with these people like the rest of them do. You often feel like the odd one out. Of the people that I've met and quickly befriended, it always turns out that they're also a CFA. And it's not like I'm socially awkward, horrifically disfigured, or not involved with anything. I lived in Wolfville, NS, and managed to make more friends there in three months then I have here in two years. And larger cities I've been in have much more social fluidity to it than here does. If you love the Maritimes, I'd suggest Halifax over Charlottetown any day. There's far more to do, especially in the winter. The winters here are unbearable if you don't have many friends and aren't a recluse.

People here are friendly, but they don't want to be your friend. That phrase resonates heavily with any CFA I mention it to.

I plan to leave PEI within the next six months. Visiting PEI and living in PEI are two very different things. Take my advice with a grain of salt: your age demographic might be very different than mine.


So you're judging PEI based on your experience in what part of PEI?

Author:  saherbal [ May 4th, 2014, 11:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

Gardiner wrote:
s9o3 wrote:
As a mid-20's "CFA" (Come from away) who's been here for two years, here's my two cents:

Since you seem to be interested in how well you'll fit in and how easily you'll meet people I'll address the social dynamics of PEI. Which from my point of view, are unique of the four different places I've lived in the Maritimes.

At least at my age demographic, it's very hard to meet new people. Everyone from here hangs out with the same old people that they've known for years and years, and aren't exactly open to much change. Those are the (heavily generalized, sorry) kind of people that are born and raised in PEI and have never lived anywhere else. The odd time you get invited out with some of these people, they all go on about Betty whoever and Gordie whoever, which makes it hard to participate in any conversation when you don't go back 10 years with these people like the rest of them do. You often feel like the odd one out. Of the people that I've met and quickly befriended, it always turns out that they're also a CFA. And it's not like I'm socially awkward, horrifically disfigured, or not involved with anything. I lived in Wolfville, NS, and managed to make more friends there in three months then I have here in two years. And larger cities I've been in have much more social fluidity to it than here does. If you love the Maritimes, I'd suggest Halifax over Charlottetown any day. There's far more to do, especially in the winter. The winters here are unbearable if you don't have many friends and aren't a recluse.

People here are friendly, but they don't want to be your friend. That phrase resonates heavily with any CFA I mention it to.

I plan to leave PEI within the next six months. Visiting PEI and living in PEI are two very different things. Take my advice with a grain of salt: your age demographic might be very different than mine.


So you're judging PEI based on your experience in what part of PEI?

No, and i have the same sentiment and have met people CFA's that have the same sentiment. Actually 2 are moving out of here since only been here for 3 yrs same reasons. It's not judging it's her or his true experience. They can only tell of what they experienced. It gets lonely when you can't find people to relate to and can't converse with. There is a difference between judging something and have your own experience.

Author:  Culland [ May 4th, 2014, 12:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

My family are islanders by choice, been here six years now, never felt the whole CFA issue, nor has our ability to make friends been any different than other places we have lived.

Author:  y2imm [ May 4th, 2014, 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

s9o3 wrote:
As a mid-20's "CFA" (Come from away) who's been here for two years, here's my two cents:

Since you seem to be interested in how well you'll fit in and how easily you'll meet people I'll address the social dynamics of PEI. Which from my point of view, are unique of the four different places I've lived in the Maritimes.

At least at my age demographic, it's very hard to meet new people. Everyone from here hangs out with the same old people that they've known for years and years, and aren't exactly open to much change. Those are the (heavily generalized, sorry) kind of people that are born and raised in PEI and have never lived anywhere else. The odd time you get invited out with some of these people, they all go on about Betty whoever and Gordie whoever, which makes it hard to participate in any conversation when you don't go back 10 years with these people like the rest of them do. You often feel like the odd one out. Of the people that I've met and quickly befriended, it always turns out that they're also a CFA. And it's not like I'm socially awkward, horrifically disfigured, or not involved with anything. I lived in Wolfville, NS, and managed to make more friends there in three months then I have here in two years. And larger cities I've been in have much more social fluidity to it than here does. If you love the Maritimes, I'd suggest Halifax over Charlottetown any day. There's far more to do, especially in the winter. The winters here are unbearable if you don't have many friends and aren't a recluse.

People here are friendly, but they don't want to be your friend. That phrase resonates heavily with any CFA I mention it to.

I plan to leave PEI within the next six months. Visiting PEI and living in PEI are two very different things. Take my advice with a grain of salt: your age demographic might be very different than mine.


Spot on, unfortunately. As a CFA, you'll likely not find many friends aside from other CFA's. I lived here almost my entire life, but it wasn't until I lived away from here that I learned how backward and insular Islanders are.

Author:  Gardiner [ May 5th, 2014, 9:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

y2imm wrote:
s9o3 wrote:
As a mid-20's "CFA" (Come from away) who's been here for two years, here's my two cents:

Since you seem to be interested in how well you'll fit in and how easily you'll meet people I'll address the social dynamics of PEI. Which from my point of view, are unique of the four different places I've lived in the Maritimes.

At least at my age demographic, it's very hard to meet new people. Everyone from here hangs out with the same old people that they've known for years and years, and aren't exactly open to much change. Those are the (heavily generalized, sorry) kind of people that are born and raised in PEI and have never lived anywhere else. The odd time you get invited out with some of these people, they all go on about Betty whoever and Gordie whoever, which makes it hard to participate in any conversation when you don't go back 10 years with these people like the rest of them do. You often feel like the odd one out. Of the people that I've met and quickly befriended, it always turns out that they're also a CFA. And it's not like I'm socially awkward, horrifically disfigured, or not involved with anything. I lived in Wolfville, NS, and managed to make more friends there in three months then I have here in two years. And larger cities I've been in have much more social fluidity to it than here does. If you love the Maritimes, I'd suggest Halifax over Charlottetown any day. There's far more to do, especially in the winter. The winters here are unbearable if you don't have many friends and aren't a recluse.

People here are friendly, but they don't want to be your friend. That phrase resonates heavily with any CFA I mention it to.

I plan to leave PEI within the next six months. Visiting PEI and living in PEI are two very different things. Take my advice with a grain of salt: your age demographic might be very different than mine.


Spot on, unfortunately. As a CFA, you'll likely not find many friends aside from other CFA's. I lived here almost my entire life, but it wasn't until I lived away from here that I learned how backward and insular Islanders are.


Fitting in and making new friends is not a one-way street and requires common interests and a certain level of effort from both sides.....I've lived here for more 27 years and other than the odd joke about CFA's, I can't as I ever experienced CFA challenges.

Author:  sasha [ May 5th, 2014, 10:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

I am CFA and we are here for 17 years. We would not have stayed here, but child happened, so we are still here. Our son will leave the Island when he finishes high school so some new options will open.

I am not sorry we stayed but I did find it easier to meet and get friendly with new people anywhere else I lived and visited. I find it that if you have one single interest that defines you, it is easier to find and befriend others that share that interest. But, if you have many interests and if you acquired different tastes through the life, it is harder to form fulfilling relationships.

As for our friends, the most of them are CFA or, if they are natives, they "saw the world" and spent the most of their lives somewhere else or were affected by "awayness" in some major way. I have no common ground with the most of people who were born and spent their lives here and I am perfectly fine with that. I think I would hard time finding common ground with anyone over 30 who did not travel and still lives close to their birth home. Form me, new experiences and learning about new places and cultures are big part of life and some people do not find it so - and that is fine.

Author:  craiger [ May 5th, 2014, 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

sasha wrote:
I am not sorry we stayed but I did find it easier to meet and get friendly with new people anywhere else I lived and visited.

What made it easier to meet and get friendlier with people elsewhere?

It's interesting reading some of people's experience. There is an exchange student I know in high school here who has made quite a few friends since arriving in September. Obviously it's different when you're in high school, but with the experience of some noted above, you wouldn't necessarily expect this in a rural high school with a foreigner whose English wasn't the best upon arrival.

Author:  sasha [ May 5th, 2014, 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

craiger wrote:
sasha wrote:
I am not sorry we stayed but I did find it easier to meet and get friendly with new people anywhere else I lived and visited.

What made it easier to meet and get friendlier with people elsewhere?

I guess people did. In more metropolitan places people often have broader views and can partake in wider range of topics which makes them more interesting to engage with and once you do decide to engage, having an accent or looking a bit different does not make you an oddity. Island being an island, things are little bit stale, topics are a often limited and people are a little bit more narrow minded.

Author:  Justin O'Brien [ May 5th, 2014, 8:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

Islanders can be CFAs too. The OP has the measure of us alright... I'll use my own experiences as anecdotal evidence but I've witnessed it elsewhere. I lived in Wellington and was bussed to school in Miscouche where our family experienced some degree of ostricization because we were "from away" and at least for me it meant two years of relentless bullying. Moved to Charlottetown in the third grade and experienced it all over again. It took two years in town before we weren't "outworlders". I know that I treat recent CFAs differently too - but not intentionally in any bad way.

Author:  Justin O'Brien [ May 6th, 2014, 1:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

I wrote:
The OP has the measure of us alright...

Well, nubbins! I went to correct that to say "s9o3" has the measure of us...", but missed!

Dang tablet :evil:

Author:  redhead27 [ May 7th, 2014, 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

I was born here, but moved away for several years for work. I often feel like a CFA now that I have moved back, as I lost touch with almost all of my former friends while away and attempts to reconnect have failed. They have their "clique" and it is really difficult to get back in the inner circle. I work from home which makes things even worse, as I don't have the workplace to meet people either.

Author:  Gardiner [ May 24th, 2014, 9:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

redhead27 wrote:
I was born here, but moved away for several years for work. I often feel like a CFA now that I have moved back, as I lost touch with almost all of my former friends while away and attempts to reconnect have failed. They have their "clique" and it is really difficult to get back in the inner circle. I work from home which makes things even worse, as I don't have the workplace to meet people either.


The problem on this Island is a common place to meet people. There was a time when house parties were a thing, but unless you're into the younger scene around here, you're out of luck!

Author:  Culland [ May 28th, 2014, 8:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Thinking of a move

Gardiner wrote:
The problem on this Island is a common place to meet people. There was a time when house parties were a thing, but unless you're into the younger scene around here, you're out of luck!


I think PEI is rich in these kinds of things. The amount of small halls and events that go on is staggering compared to elsewhere. Sure during the summer some are more focused on tourists, but there is a lot of community suppers, plays, benefits, etc.

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